i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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