You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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