dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
