Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
