three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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