are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
