Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize