Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
