i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
