physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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