$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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