and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
