He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
