i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
