Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
