New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
