Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize