the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
