The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
