everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize