don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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