Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
