Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
