Soap is not a condiment
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
