i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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