Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
