Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I didn't notice because vodka
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
