i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
