..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
