His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
