shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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