Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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