apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
