Don't you send me to vm
That's intense
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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