i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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