it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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