Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
