Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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