Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
