Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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