is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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