I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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