Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
