Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
