You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
