The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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