D3 body, D1 cock
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
