But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
