Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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