Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
