this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
