Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
