my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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