I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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