All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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