Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
