So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm really busy with my period
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