Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
