toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
