So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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