I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
