i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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