So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
