can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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