You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize