I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
