They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
