plz talk dirty to me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize